I love marriage: the union of a man and a woman before God for life. The whole idea of it is a picture of Christ and his church. Because he loves so unconditionally and sacrificially, Jesus died for his Bride.
Jesus shows us that marriage should be characterized by sacrificial love.
But that’s not all. Yes, Jesus loved us by dying for us, but his love didn’t end there. His work of sanctification goes on through his word (cf. Ephesians 5:26). As we hear, speak, and live out the word God has given us, we will be changed by it. We will be sanctified by it: set apart so we can be used by him for his purposes. We will be cleansed and renewed by his Word.
People are always looking for meaning in life, and the world, which is opposed to God, has left us with no good answers. The teachings of the Bible will be the exact opposite of what the culture of our world is telling us to do. But it is often in sacrifice, in obedience to God, that meaning is found. Sacrifice may mean elevating what my marriage partner needs above what I want at any given time. In that moment, it may seem like a sacrifice without meaning. But after years of marriage, you will find sacrifice for your mate on a short list of things that are really worth doing!
By the way, even if I’m the world’s greatest hypocrite and the world’s worst husband, it doesn’t mean what I’m saying isn’t true. God made marriage as the bedrock of human society. So if I do it poorly, he is not to blame. As others have said, when someone plays Beethoven badly, we blame the performer, not Beethoven.
Although we could examine the whole of Scripture to see how marriage is pictured from the beginning and how it is a illustration of the redemption of humanity, for now I’ll just say that if you really want to do something worthwhile, invest in your marriage.
Words have the power of life and death (James 3:10). So speak words of life over your loved one. You are building a house when you build up your partner with words (Psalm 127:1-3, 128:1-3; Proverbs 9:1-12). Speak life to each other and serve one another. Time spent building up and encouraging your partner is never wasted!
Marriage is always under attack by spiritual forces we can’t see, but especially at “opportune times” (cf. Luke 4:13, ESV). At those moments when we are wrung out by the concerns of this world, the enemy of our souls will throw stresses and distractions at us that make us turn inward. Let these challenges become a reminder to turn your thoughts toward God, and
Pray with each other and for each other!
More than anything else, the enemy of our souls wants to keep us from praying. Our spiritual enemy attacks marriage because it is the foundation of civilization and the order that God created. Before sin entered the world, before there was any government to perpetuate civilized society, there was marriage. Through prayer, marriage can become an altar of worship to God. Working through us, his power makes us more than conquerors. We conquer when we pray together and trust him through our circumstances. About the Church, Jesus asserted that “the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). Gates are defensive structures, not offensive weapons, so when believers pray in God’s will, we can storm the gates of hell, declare shalom over our marriages, and spread the blessings of the kingdom of God.
Marriage is not a neglected afterthought in Scripture, but a consistent theme from Genesis to Revelation. Here are just a few highlights worth remembering:
Ephesians 5:22-33
1 Peter 3:1-7
Mark 10:5-9
Finally, love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. This is worth memorizing:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
